It’s time to get a little real, and perhaps a little raw. This past year I laid a good business foundation. I dove into many things. Created a lot of content, and courses. Started a team. Developed amazing relationships. Made huge leaps and bounds… and I am grateful for all that has come my way. But, stepping back this past month I realized, I wasn’t in alignment with the way I had been doing business any longer. I felt withdrawn, confused, and disconnected. I felt like it wasn’t on my terms, that it had taken on a momentum of its own aside from me, that it didn’t really feel good anymore, and felt more like just trying to go through the motions rather than enjoying the ride. People would look at what I was doing and say “how are you doing this” “you are so amazing at _____ or _____,” and instead of hearing those words and feeling good I felt nothing or agitated because they didn’t understand what was really going on. I realized then that a lot of what I built my business around was myself feeding into what I thought others would want me to do or be, or what I considered successful from years of trying to win others over through my accomplishments.
So though I was doing all these things, making money in the process and taking the actions to be successful, I felt disconnected from the actual accomplishment. This caused me to not feel invested in my business anymore. How could I expect others to invest in me and my business if I wasn’t, if I wasn’t being honest with myself, if I wasn’t living my truth. I HAD to make space for an evolution because what I had built was formed out of my own insecurity. I was counting myself out, undervaluing myself and my offerings, providing other so much value at so little that i felt like people thought they owned me, I needed to be there at their every call or they would flee and find someone else. My messages and inbox were always buried with messages I could not keep up with from people who needed more and more value and wanted it for free. I was drained. I was burned out.
I HAD to take a stand for myself.
I HAD to evolve.
I HAD to realize my value.
I HAD to stand for myself because I don’t want anyone who follows me to not take a stand for themselves.
You are worth it.
You are of value.
You are enough.
We will always be learning. There will always be growing pains. Sometimes we have to breakdown to breakthrough.
It’s ok to start again.
I’m sorry that I didn’t share my truth earlier.
I’m sorry to those of you here who have felt disconnected from me because I was trying to be something I’m not and not being authentic.
I’m sorry mostly because I haven’t allowed you guys to be a community because of my own feeling of “need to do it all alone.”
Most of all I’m excited though, for a new beginning. For trailblazing. For making a new path built on my alignment, my own BIGNESS, and breaking of my comfort zone.